Saturday, November 26, 2016

The Times, They Are a-Changin’

While I understand people encounter writer’s block, I often laugh it off, like I’m knocking on wood. It doesn’t affect me, I won’t give it power.

Every time I have thought of picking up the laptop to write, post traumatic brain injury (TBI): my wife’s, not mine, I shudder. The last three posts were related to it, and I can’t seem to get beyond that. It was traumatic, not just to her, but also to me. I struggle to take/make time for myself and get out of constant caregiving [hibernation] mode. The injury made me hypersensitive to her needs, and getting out of that mode is more difficult an adjustment that I would have believed possible. Maybe it’s just age and an empty-nest syndrome without ever having had kids.

I’ve also resisted believing things are better. I feel if I acknowledge how much better she is, and she’s practically all better, something will slide and my expectations will be let down, instead of constantly amazed like they are now. The migraines are almost non-existent at this point; they were almost constant for 3 years. I can’t even imagine a world where my head hurt that much for that long. She’s starting to be able to handle places with people: coffee shops, restaurants; this is a gradual re-introduction. She can’t drive yet.